Slaughter and the twoedged sword

[cizz]

I wanted to share a life changing vision I had years ago. One that was given to me for me...Please forgive some of my wordings, I wanted to remain honest on the sharing..

This particular vision is one that offended my senses and changed everything I had ever learned and believed, it is a vision of sudden betrayal that snatched away everything I thought I knew. Please know that when I say "vision" it was as if I was drawn into another place outside of time, the room I was in did not seem to exist anymore, it felt more real than me sitting here typing..

The emotion and energy that triggered this vision was "aloneness", not my own aloneness but the Lord's...I was overwhelmed with a sense that the Lord was off in a far away place all alone. The first thing deemed not good was that the man should be alone..how did the Lord God know this to be true? from experience? My heart broke with the thought of any being stuck out and far away all alone..

I heard the question put to me, "will you come out here with me?"
I broke down under that request and answered back, "I'm too afraid to, can't you come here and be with all of us? I told the truth, I said you know me, I've never known anything but here and I'm so afraid, it would break my heart just as bad to leave all those I love behind here just like it is riping my heart out to think you're out there alone, and I asked again, Can't you please come here?"

At that point the room and floor dropped away, I have no clue where I was but I saw a huge line of people leading out and away into the distance and I wondered where all of them were going, they were quiet and in a straight line slowly moving toward something...

The scene changed and I found myself standing in the front of that line, when I turned my head to see where all the people in line were at, everything behind me went into black darkness, the people had disappeared, I turned to look at what was before me, it was a shrouded image of one hanging on a cross and when I tried to look past that image the darkness was thicker and I could see nothing. I was in such confusion that I couldn't think or even begin to speak when I heard a voice come from behind this image of the cross..

This voice asked me if I was the one that put his son there, my mind went into a whirlwind of trying to figure out if I was the one that put him there, I found myself stuttering with I...I...I...until finally I said "I don't know"

I heard the one hanging on the cross speak to me, he said thank you, then the scene changed and I was the one hanging on the cross and the image that said thank you was standing in the edge of my peripheral vision where I could not make out anything of his features but just enough to know he was still there..

My mind flooded with the memory of my earlier tears and the first question put to me, "will you come out here with me", my mind immediately went to thoughts of "I was betrayed!" He used my emotions of love and concern to betray me. Standing off beside me, he seemed to hear my thoughts and He whispered, "Don't worry, if you did a good job at spreading the gospel and crying out desperately for others to follow then your time here will be short, at this point I'm thinking OH NO! did I teach or preach? what did I do and say? Then he said don't worry, I'm sure someone will come along and when they do..just say "thank you". I realized then that the line was leading to a slaughter and the sword to slaughter was simply saying thank you...to get myself down I was now required to kill the next person in line, I was now required to betray them to free myself...I thought God had betrayed me. At this point I could no longer glimpse his image to the side of me anymore, I was crying so hard and felt totally abandoned, thoughts of my kids, my parents and friends tore at my heart, I was overwhelmed with feelings that I would never be with them again and that this was it, this is where it all lead to! Nowhere! Trapped all alone out in nowhere. Then I remembered how he said I could get myself down from there, I felt sick at that thought and I knew I couldn't do it, through my tears I cried out with disgust and anger and I told the one behind me in the darkness to go screw himself! I wouldn't do it, I would hang there for all eternity if that's what it took and every time someone appeared before me I WOULD NOT SPEAK ONE WORD! and when there was no one before me I would cry out continually at him and he could spend all eternity listening to my mouth pour it out at him, but I will not kill another to free myself, I couldn't and I knew he knew that.

 I sensed him standing next to me closer this time and he asked me what was to be done and before I could answer, he said there is only one body of flesh here, but yet there is the two of us, will you leave me here all alone? Before I realized what I had done, the words "no, of course not, we can share this one body" slipped past my lips..

The scene changed and I had a sense that I was moving away, I could still sense him with me but where exactly he was/is I can't place him, but I know he is there. I heard him whisper to look back before we go and I turned my head, the cross was empty, there was no one there and as I stared on I asked, "did I just sell my soul to the devil?" I could sense a as he remained quiet..

I was so relieved when my floor and the walls to the room came back, I found myself sitting in my chair whispering and begging "no more, please, no more"

I for one will not have any hurt feelings or feel cheated in any way if I never have to experience visions again!

After I came out of this vision I had an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety, the thought of ever speaking another word that had anything to do with God again scared me into feeling physically sick, I would break out shaking and sweating, the nausea was too much! When I would hear others talking about it I would panic and my mind would be screaming STOP! you don't realize what you're doing STOP! Please, please, please!

This one scripture held me silent on the subject for a really long time,

He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.

We do our best leading and killing with words...

But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.


one edge of the sword is good words, spoke with good intentions and the other edge is bad words spoke with not so good intentions...but remember it is one sword, no matter which way you swing it...it's going to hurt! How do you spend your whole life never speaking of God? Am I suppose to remain forever silent? Some don't mind the thought and have no problem to lead with their words without ever stopping to consider, that's okay too, but for me..the cross was empty when I left it and I can live with myself knowing that...

[cizz]

I have truly struggled with coming to undertsand this vision and why the Lord brought me into silence of speaking anything about God. I have come to learn the reason and it has taught me the importance of not taking God's name in vain (literally! to not represent God in a negative unhelpful way) because when we speak anything about God people are lead by those words! The last thing I would ever want is for someone to follow me into hell, hell would be hell enough but let me not add into it knowing I caused another to come to it too. I can bear my own punishment but to see another's is too much, and to know that I caused it...God help me!
Be silent, O all flesh, before the LORD: for he is raised up out of his holy habitation.

This is what the Lord has taught me that I'm learning to keep myself and my mouth by:

He says to me that I can not hear Him in other's words coming from their mouths until I hear Him in my heart and mind first, says He will never betray my confidence and trust in Him by His speaking about me to another and He will never put me to shame when I stay in this. So I have learned that no one can come to me and say "the Lord said for me to say this to you" but if and when any do I will listen and if what they say does not confirm what the Lord has already told me, then I simply thank them and give no heed to it..In this I also know that I can not do that to another person either, the Lord will never tell me about other people's business or relationship with Him, that is private to them..and woe to me for even insinuating that He would betray their condifence and trust in Him, God help me for trying to snatch away even a crumb of hope..

He says to me that when another's words do confirm something He has told me, then I should remember in my joy to thank them and let them know that is exactly a word He already shared with me, then we will both be edified in our sharing with each other to knowing that He is with each of us personally.

And it shall come to pass afterward, [that] I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:

All flesh...Everyone!

And all flesh shall see the salvation of God.


Thus saith the LORD of hosts, Hearken not unto the words of the prophets that prophesy unto you: they make you vain: they speak a vision of their own heart, [and] not out of the mouth of the LORD.

I have not sent these prophets, yet they ran: I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied.

I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.

How long shall [this] be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies? yea, [they are] prophets of the deceit of their own heart;

Which think to cause my people to forget my name by their dreams which they tell every man to his neighbour, as their fathers have forgotten my name for Baal.

The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully.

Therefore, behold, I [am] against the prophets, saith the LORD, that steal my words every one from his neighbour.

Behold, I [am] against the prophets, saith the LORD, that use their tongues, and say, He saith.

I am so thankful to know this good news not just for myself, but for all of us, no more running around searching for Him and the ones He is talking through, He speaks to each and every one of us privately inside our hearts and minds and the only thing another person can do for me is share what He has given them and it may confirm what He already told me, I cry with joy when this happens! Every time it happens! I think in those moments of awe He did not lie to me! I can trust Him!

I hope my sharing this will edify and be good news! relief! badly needed relief it was for me!

[dgbygrace]

I hope my sharing this will edify and be good news! relief! badly needed relief it was for me!

Sis it truly, truly did!!  And badly needed relief for me too.  Thank you.

[cizz]

It is true relief sis! It took me a long time to figure out and understand why Lord would have me do something so contrary to what I had always been taught but I'm grasping now that He brought me to silence in order to teach me how to speak..     I'm always checking and re-reading my own words to see if I have falling out! I'm working myself hard here!!